Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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