Define "chronic" masturbator.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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