help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
