Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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