the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
