I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
