in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
