Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
