Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize