I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
