got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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