dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
