hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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