He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
