I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
