No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need moral support for this bender
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
