There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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