I faked an abortion last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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