I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
