They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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