Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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