Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
