why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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