so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
