just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
