we have pet lesbian snakes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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