Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
