so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
