I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
