He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
