New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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