There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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