Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
