what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize