sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
