I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am naked and annoyed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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