Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
