): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
