I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
