ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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