Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
