Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
