You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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