so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
