I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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