My nipple is on Facebook.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
