please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
