Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
