I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
