I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
