My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
