Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
