Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
