Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
