Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
