What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
