never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
